My daughter Holly recently got her communion. An event I went to more as a tradition of Irish childhood. But also to ensure I always help her relationship with God.
I tred a difficult line here. I have so many issues about God and organised religion. I`m not a non believer, but a struggler or hoper. I have attended alpha courses, catholic faith courses, attended, catholic, protestant, baptist and Evangeical churches to find my spiritual place. I have found friendship and education in all areas I have travelled but I have never regained a faith like I had in my childhood & teenage years.

I love the peace and serenity of our churches, these architectural pieces of work are amazing but the opulence is at the same time hard to understand.Considering these buidings can be hundreds of years old, they have held the poorest of the poor and the richest of the rich.
The idea of confessing my sins to a priest horrifies me.I find it hard to chat and make friends at all, never mind telling my deepest thoughts to a stranger or worse a friend.
Knowing that popes, now and in the past have known about serious issues in the churches and still to this day have not acknowledged or done the right and lawful thing by these people has led me to a very strange point in life.
 What do you do when the leaders of your faith, have proven to have done wrong, hiding legal evidence and refusing to work with the law. Who consider themselves to be more important than the common man. Who have a leader who is considered to be flawless. Protection from their own army and country and do not answer to the laws of man.
So I give my child all the benefits of the catholic church and we celebrate her faith in jesus because to take that away from her could be taking a crucial part of her life and soul. And I hope for her to be able to navigate her way in life better than me. But as I tred carefully and thoughtfully I find myself telling her that regardess of the positions that people hold in life, they are people. And ALL people are flawed.
I now find mysef wondering if trust is ever something you can totally do as we always need to maintain caution. And is this the reason I will always be a hoper or a struggler and not a believer.
And yet as I watch this beautiful ceremony you cant help be touched by the purity and faith of children...and hope that a little rubs off on us all.